Positive Post

Its time for a positive post. My last few ones have been so stress-ridden and anxiety-induced that I don't think anyone reading this blog would be interested in seeing the show. Well, maybe they would be, but only as a sort of sideshow act, see the crazy, anxious actress go onstage and have a meltdown.

ANYWAY, that's enough of that.

Because the show is going to be great.

I actually think its going to be great.

I can feel it in my waters.

We've been working away at the script, Yvonne and me, over the last two weeks, and its starting to feel like something. Something good. Something interesting. And, whenever I get worried that its all too self-absorbed and self-indulgent, we splice together some of my writing and Cathie's writing, and it suddenly sounds like... something. Something interesting.

Yvonne has some really interesting ideas for the video, which sound great, and I do hope they are able to be used. We're going to be working much more with the 'art of film' so to speak. Instead of just filming a theatre performance, or me, standing there, talking, there will be a much more concerted effort to make the video into something interesting in its own right. I think that's exciting.

We're also really playing on this idea of the theatrical conversation. So, even though I'm working very hard on a script for Cathie right now, this will most likely not be the script that I perform in Wexford. Instead, my script will develop along with what Cathie produces in Melbourne. This is another cool idea, and really sets us up for future work (we are looking at Adelaide, and adding a third performer for a festival in Alabama.... right now, this sounds very daunting. And I'm not committing myself yet - to either the festivals or the mental hospital - but, seriously, if it goes well, it would be exciting to develop it further, and maybe we can look at the Dublin Fringe again.... ).

That's it for now. But, I am buzzed. The show is going to be 'something'. I don't know what that is yet, and it might not sound particularly concrete. But, that's what's kind of exciting about the whole thing. Terrifying, too, don't get me wrong, and not usually my style, but, well... you've got to keep throwing the bowling balls down the alley, don't you? And then, eventually, one of those bowling balls is going to hit over some pins. Its going to be something this show, because it has to be. Because we've booked spaces and advertisements, and registered for fringe shows. We've given ourselves the permission, the impetus, the absolute command to perform, so we have to do something. I think a lot of people think that's a bad idea - 'Don't do it until its ready,' 'Don't go out there with something until you're absolutely certain of it,' 'People will judge you if its great.' All true, I suppose, but on the other hand, how do you learn if you don't do it? How do you get experience? I want to perform. I want to write for the stage. Its no use sitting in my bedroom, reading words out loud to myself. That's not going to cut it. The American director, Anne Bogart also said, 'Don't wait.' Don't wait until you have enough money, the right space, until everything's right. Work with what you have right now, otherwise you never will work.

Its going to be 'something', this show. It really is.